On two occasions I’ve been gifted with the opportunity to attend The White Privilege Conference. Yes, you read that correctly, THE WHITE PRIVILEGE CONFERENCE (www.whiteprivilegeconference.com.) People who are not familiar with this conference often mistake it for a gathering of people who support white power, when in fact, it is the exact opposite. The White Privilege Conference was founded by Dr. Eddie Moore, Jr. to create a forum where people can learn about white privilege, the intersection of all forms of oppression, and how these forms of oppression perpetuate white power. These concepts are dismantled and attendees begin to learn how to become allies and anti-racists. Without question, this conference is one of the most enlightening and challenging learning opportunities I’ve experienced. I encourage anyone who is willing to examine their own privilege and racism to attend.
The theme of this year’s conference was: This Land is Whose Land? This topic is of particular interest to me. I work with many families who have emigrated from Mexico. I am very sensitive to debates around citizenship and monolingual Spanish speakers. Not only do I work with people whose lives are directly impacted by the restrictive policies of the U.S. government, but I am also mindful that I live on land, taken by force from the very people oppressed by institutional racism and prejudice. Regardless of my opinions on immigration, I understand immigration and citizenship are complex issues within the context of our governmental policies. However, for me it’s simple, it’s about owning a history of violence, oppression, and injustice. It’s about the willingness to admit, as a country, we are forbidding people access to land we forcefully took from them. It’s about looking into the eyes of individuals and acknowledging their humanity rather than vilifying them in order to remain detached from the idea that undocumented immigrants are soulful, hardworking, and loving people. They are people who long for the ability to care for themselves and their loved ones, just like you and me. I often wonder, if everyone could bear witness, as I have, to the diminishing light in a young person as he transitions from a bright, engaged, teen, devouring knowledge, and hungry to be challenged to an ambivalent high school senior, overwhelmed by the burden of hopelessness, facing adulthood in the only country he has ever known, realizing there is no place for his dreams and still remain steadfast against the concept rights for all people.
During this year’s conference I attended a workshop that became the catalyst for my return to Costa Rica. The workshop was titled: Dialogue through Shared Text: Al Amanacer. The workshop explored citizenship, access, and taking action through the use of poetry and music, while being simultaneously translated in both Spanish and English. For me, the experience was powerful beyond measure. It moved me to tears.... it also inspired me to continue improving my own Spanish language skills.
The poem: Al Manacer (or The Awakening, for those who do not speak Spanish,) was the foundation of our discussion.
Al Amanacer
Soy historia de conciencia,
palabras, canciones, poemas,
sufrimiento confrontado,
injusticia destrizada
anunciando en voz alta
el derecho de ser.
Soy historia de violencia,
puños, insultos, rechazos;
alma herida,
corazón partido,
espejo de mis sueños
estrellado.
Soy historia de tristeza,
cariños, sonrisas, besos,
jamás cumplidos,
jamás lucidos,
ilusiones perdidas
al anochercer.
Soy historia de esperanza,
resistencia, lucha, entrega,
amor retamado,
tenura liberada,
mujer resucitada
al amanecer.
__ Antonia Darder
Awakening
I am the history of conscience,
words, songs, poems,
confronted suffering,
torn injustice,
announcing in a loud voice
the right to be.
I am the history of violence,
punches, insults, rejections,
wounded soul,
broken heart,
mirror of my dreams
shattered.
I am the history of sadness
affections, smiles, kisses,
unfulfilled,
never shone,
lost illusions
at nightfall.
I am the history of hope,
resistance, struggle, surrender,
reclaimed love,
liberated tenderness,
resurrected woman
awakening.
___ Antonia Darder
As we discussed the meaning of the poem, participants were invited to speak in whichever language, (Spanish or English) they preferred. Many of the people, whose first language is Spanish AND were fluent in English stated when they expressed themselves in Spanish they were more fully able to capture their heart and their passion. For them, this poem, originally written in Spanish, was far more powerful in Spanish when compared to its English translation. This resonated with me. As a proficient Spanish speaker, when I want to convey the depth of what I feel I speak in English.
I began wondering how many opportunities I have missed to truly know someone, to foster confidence among students to speak up, (both at cityWILD and Metro State, where I also teach, ) How many voices have I excluded, by the limitations of my Spanish? When I am speaking with only Spanish speakers, I always offer the option to converse in Spanish. However, when I am in the company of both English and Spanish speakers, we always speak English. I am less confident in my ability to translate Spanish, than I am in my ability to speak and understand it. This is where my journey begins.
I am committed to improving my Spanish skills so I will take the risk of translating when I am with non-Spanish speakers. I want to invite my Spanish-speaking brothers and sisters to speak in whichever language most captures their sentiment, I want the students in my classes at Metro State to have the option to speak in their first language when they want to convey their passions, and I want students to feel like cityWILD is a second home, where they can speak up in whichever language they prefer, rather than feeling relegated to only speak their first language with their Spanish speaking peers or when they are in my office, talking one on one. I want to push the boundaries of my own inclusive practices.
